Dear Readers the title doesn’t have anything to do with the blog. But since I couldn’t think of another one lets settle with this. This blog is about my friend whose name cannot be disclosed. He is our classmate and he gets bullied by everyone around. I mean he is so hopeless (and have lots of pimples or what he claims not to be pimples) that even the lamest person would want to bully him around. He is so easy going and stupid that people hit him in few critical places on the body. Not to mention that is totally weird and disgusting. His partner (not me the other dumb ass) is such a disgusting, weird, annoying (seriously every time he laughs you would want to punch him in nose) and moronic ignoramus around. He has pissed him more than once we have entered into fight many times. Now you are wondering what is the point of writing all these lines, well following are few things that I always wanted to do to harm that dawg. (I saw the spelling in an American movie.)
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If I see him on the street
I would drive a bulldozer on his back.
I would cut off his head and play football.
I’ll tie his butt to the back of the truck and make him run around the whole city
I would call on my ninja brothers to cut out every single strand hair on his head and make him look like puke from garbage can.
I would shove a grenade up his butt and sword down his throat.
If I see him in the movie theatre
I would take his head put it in the toilet seat and flush his eyes out.
I would make him the used toilet paper.
If he came with his girl friend (which he would definitely wouldn’t have, he pisses every one off) I would woo her and run off with her to an alien planet to start a civilization devoid of ignoramus idiots like him.
I would put a dead rat in his pop corn so that he dies of food poisoning.
I would pee on his chair in the theatre.
I would tear off his shirt in the theatre.
If I see him when I would be 80 yrs old I’ll take his walking stick and beat him death with it.
I would eat his heart and crap out his soul.
I would fart right on his face so that he flies off to moon.
I would send a nuclear warhead to moon to kick his ugly butt up there.
I would mind control all his grand children who would kick him in the critical area whenever he would touch them.
And finally I would pee on his grave and then weed will grow on them.
A gem is not polished without rubbin, nor is a man perfected without trials – Cambodian proverb